I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize