the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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