call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
