Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
