Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
