i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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