So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
