shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
