Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize