Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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