I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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