there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's like iHOP with fire
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
