Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
