Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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