we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
