why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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