Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize