I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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