Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
