Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
