Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
