so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
