about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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