There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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