Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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