He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
