Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
