Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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