so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You made out with two different species that night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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