Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize