so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So much Jack, so little girl.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
