and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
