you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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