So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
