you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
