we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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