We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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