Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
