My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
