So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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