I intend to get homeless drunk
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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