My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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