i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
