If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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