I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
