im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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