somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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