Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The struggles of a small town man whore
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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