you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize