I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
