Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Help. Why am I so naked?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
