i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you had me at cake vodka
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
