It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
