I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
