Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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