you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
